I always know that my Godma was a person full of love, joy and concern for the people around her. But to hear people from all walks of life – be it her colleagues, neighbours, friends or relatives speak of what a wonderful person she was, I feel really blessed and honoured to call her as my Godma.
She was there for me since my baptism, always caring and guiding me, no matter the time of the day or however busy she was. She was full of patience to guide my brother and I on our journey to become better children of God and to grow in faith in Him.
As the eldest daughter in a poor family, my Godma helped to look after her 7 younger sisters, showering them with the care and concern that we are all familiar with. I fondly remember my aunts’ recollections of my Godma. Upon graduating from school, she began working. Even though her pay was little, she helped to ease the financial burden of her parents by supplementing their income. She also looked after the needs of her sisters – giving them extra pocket money or even making new clothes for them to wear during the Chinese New Year, a luxury which the family couldn’t afford to at that point of time. She was a generous person – always giving without expecting anything in return, not only through physical means but in every aspect possible. My Godma was truly a loving sister and a filial daughter.
Even though she was undergoing chemotherapy and was in pain, she continued to care for my aunt who had just undergone an operation to check if she’s doing well and if she’s eating well. She herself was in pain, but she never once failed to spare a thought for the people around her.
During her chemotherapy, she once told my aunt how she pleaded with God to spare her. She was not worried for herself, but rather she was worried about her elderly parents, her sisters and her family. Even though she experienced so much pain, she maintained true and responsible to her role as a daughter, a sister, and a wife.
To witness such a blessed person having to suffer so much pain during her illness was terribly heart wrenching. However, my Godma never once complained about the pain or showed any hint of the sufferings she had to endure. She never gave any outward signs of pain mainly because she did not want her loved ones to worry. She endured the pain, going so far as to refuse painkillers until her last days, so that we will not worry for her. My Godma was so selfless even till the end. She took the illness in her stride, bravely facing whatever challenges or pain that was thrown in her direction and throughout the whole ordeal, her faith in God never once quivered. And for that, I truly admire her.
I count myself truly blessed to have my Godma in my life and I am sure the people who know her feel the same way. I was fortunate enough to be touched by her and it is with utmost regret that I have to see her go. However, I know that she has gone to a better place where she need not suffer any more pain and to be with God and the eternal life that He has promised. However, even though she has gone, my memories of her will live on forever.
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I was told to write this in less than 12 hours. Imagine the stress, the honour and the depression I went through. I was stressed because I did not have much time to prepare and I really wanted to do a good job. I was honoured because my family is huge, and I was asked to do it even though I think my aunts would have done a better job. I was very depressed because it made me think of how much I miss her.
After I delivered it, we all stood to pay our final respects by placing a flower on her. I stood up and left the script on the bench. When I came back it was gone. Either my Godma really liked it and took it with her or that someone came and throw it away. I hope its the former.
I haven’t been this upset in a long time. I have not cried this much in a long time. My heart has not ached so much in a long time.
I’m going to miss her.
